• Home
  • Weight Loss Writings
  • Ideas from the booklet
  • Buy Stuff
  • About Scott "Q"
Weight Loss Tip Booklet - 151 Simple Ideas

Using Emotions to Affect Long-Term Change

8/3/2011

0 Comments

 
Between the covers of the business book currently on my nightstand, the author devotes few pages to discussing cash flow or spreadsheets, while much ink is dedicated to changing one’s thoughts about money. It is her premise that our income basically determined more by how we think than by the actions we take. Of course, those considerations then produce behaviors, which lead to results. Therefore, if we “dig down” and adjust them, we will do what we do in an altered manner. This provides fresh results improving our business.

In effect, change your thoughts; change your financial life.

The barricade is our ol’ buddy, Denial.

Thought patterns, much like a river cutting a path through granite, our etched into our psyche over time, with much repetition. To refashion such embedded patterns takes a great deal of effort — and it’s not like we’re not busy already, right? Besides, “there’s always tomorrow.”

The author suggests that such transformation only occurs once “we’re hit by a two-by-four.” Of course, she’s speaking figuratively, not literally. (I hate it when people say “literally” when they mean “figuratively.” Sorry, pet peeve…)

Let me expand: Suppose you’re in a floundering relationship. You didn’t get there overnight; it began subtly, “the small things.” For example, you don’t talk as much.  “It’s no big deal,” you think, “We’re just busy right now.” That might be accurate; having said that, “something” still feels off. But, you put it to back burner until you have more evidence — or time.

After awhile, your “couple’s time” becomes more sparse. You are roommates more than partners, on parallel tracks with no intersections. Logically, you can explain it away. “We’ve both got so much on our plates; things will get back to normal soon.” No action taken.

Soon, intimacy, in all its forms, has become a memory. There is now real distance, even a bit of resentment. Nobody brings anything up; you’re not even sure you want to broach the subject. Also, the chasm is now an additional barrier. Oh sure, you’re thinking about “making some changes” when things settle down. For now, it’s “stay the course.”

Then comes the two-by-four: He wants “out.”

“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” he says, in a difficult, unexpected (?), conversation. “We’ve grown apart.”

It’s a pattern experienced by millions of couples. Despite the warnings, and their ever-increasing appearances, we are able to rationalize what’s going on, while denying what we felt. Therefore, for most, it takes getting slammed upside the head with a brick (again, “figuratively”) before we do what must be done. This is in any facet of our lives, from our relationships to diets to finance.

Newton’s first law of motion says that a body in motion will remain in motion unless acted on by an external force. In effect, we will do what we do until, painfully; we can no longer deny the results of our actions. Once at that place, we are so overwhelmed, that it seems an insurmountable problem and we remain stagnant in unhappiness.

First of all, it is not undefeatable if we break it into small steps, and engage in them with regularly and immediacy.

That stated, it’s still healthier to avoid that unhappy condition by understanding the urgency of emotions when it comes to moving forward. Look at it this way; our feelings are the gasoline fueling the engine; logic is then the steering wheel. Without the first, we’re going nowhere. Without the latter, we’re out of control. Developing both is essential to leading a happy, well-adjusted life.

About the author: Scott “Q” Marcus is a professional speaker and the CDO of www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a website for people and organizations who are frustrated with making promises and are ready to make a change. Sign up for his free newsletter at the site or friend him at facebook.com/thistimeimeanit. He is also available for coaching and speaking engagements at 707.442.6243 or scottq@scottqmarcus.com.
0 Comments

    Archives

    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    December 2009

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Addictions
    Adopted Dog
    Aging
    Aging Gracefully
    Attitude
    Balanced Diet
    Bike Accident
    Black And White Thinking
    Bmi
    Bullying
    Cat
    Change
    Charity
    Childhood
    Childhood Obesity
    Christmas
    Combo Pilling
    Communication
    Conflict Management
    Control
    Dealing With Loss
    Death
    Death Of A Pet
    Deprivation
    Destiny
    Diet
    Diet Drugs
    Dieting
    Diet Supplements
    Earthquake
    Economy
    Emotions
    Exercise
    Failure
    Family
    Fate
    Fear Of Failure
    Fear Of Success
    Feelings
    Fen-phen
    Fitness
    Forgiveness
    Goals
    Good Health
    Gratitude
    Gross Food Movement
    Growth
    Habit Change
    Habits
    Happiness
    Hate Speech
    Health
    Holidays
    Hope
    Immigration
    Inspiration
    Intuition
    Japan
    Karma
    Left Wing
    Life Balance
    Loss
    Lucky Numbers
    Mental Health
    Michelle Obama
    Mini-schnauzer
    Motivation
    Multitasking
    New Years Resolutions
    Noticing What Matters
    Numerology
    Obesity
    Obsession
    Off Label Use
    Opinion
    Optimist
    Overeating
    Overweight Children
    Overwork
    Perceptions
    Perfectionism
    Perspective
    Pessimist
    Pets
    Phentermine
    Politics
    Positive Attitude
    Positive Mindset
    Positive Thinking
    Priorities
    Procrastination
    Radical Forgiveness
    Recession
    Relationships
    Rescue Dog
    Resolutions
    Right Wing
    Ruth Marcus
    Santa
    Self Control
    Self-determination
    Self Esteem
    Self Help
    Self Image
    Seniors
    Setting Effective Goals
    Shakes
    Spirituality
    Stress
    Success
    Support
    Thankfulness
    Thanksgiving
    The Big Pictur
    This Time I Mean It
    This Time I Mean It Day
    Topomax
    Tradition
    Travel
    Tribute
    Tsunami
    Tucson Shooting
    Wealth
    Weight Loss
    Wellness
    Work-o-holic
    Yoga

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.